Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...