I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.