theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.