I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
