It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.