I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.