Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
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We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
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it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
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