I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Blood and glitter go together right?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.