That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby