I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.