It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?