don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution