All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.