I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.