He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
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... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
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Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight