Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.