There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation