K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dating After Heartbreak
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.