I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.