I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome