I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.