Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions