At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
