will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country