Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous