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Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
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