just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball