she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.