after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
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I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?