Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (845)

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  He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?

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  (845): He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right? http://tfl.nu/rwt1
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  maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night

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  (845): maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night http://tfl.nu/d95d
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  If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.

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  (845): If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt. http://tfl.nu/ayuf
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  Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.

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  (845): Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck. http://tfl.nu/wpar
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  no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.

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  You wear Armani Exchange.

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  (845): no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue. (516): You wear Armani Exchange. http://tfl.nu/2dtf
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  Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations

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  (845): Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations http://tfl.nu/d924
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  I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so

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  (845): I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so http://tfl.nu/bpeg
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  i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7

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  id pin you as more of an 8

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  (845): i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7 (1-845): id pin you as more of an 8 http://tfl.nu/ua5n
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  what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?

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  (845): what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much? http://tfl.nu/y3h1
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  don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter

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  (845): don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter http://tfl.nu/0xc6
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  even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.

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  (845): even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point. http://tfl.nu/9fmk
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  i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.

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  (845): i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie. http://tfl.nu/9q37
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  i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius

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  (845): i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius http://tfl.nu/tnr2
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  Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon

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  (845): Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon http://tfl.nu/pdkb
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  I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.

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  (845): I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive. http://tfl.nu/u0rp
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