she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.