you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me