we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
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Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.