i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..