He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing