Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Follow @tfln