She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize