Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (845)

Last Night in New York (845)

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She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".

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(845): She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex". http://tfl.nu/cd1v

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I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"

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(845): I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!" http://tfl.nu/kl2h

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i can't find my house

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we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.

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i'm pretty sure my house moved.

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(845): i can't find my house (1-845): we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago. (845): i'm pretty sure my house moved. http://tfl.nu/nzng

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I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.

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(845): I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ. http://tfl.nu/s7ef

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Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.

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(845): Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this. http://tfl.nu/o1x8

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Because ur a stupid bitch

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Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.

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(845): Because ur a stupid bitch (1-845): Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch. http://tfl.nu/0sjk

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Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.

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(845): Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents. http://tfl.nu/6leg

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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.

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(845): He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver. http://tfl.nu/r9iy

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So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.

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(845): So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation. http://tfl.nu/fvna

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just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.

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(845): just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever. http://tfl.nu/d1ay

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alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.

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(845): alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization. http://tfl.nu/1m6d

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our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.

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(845): our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever. http://tfl.nu/jcyn

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weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize

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(845): weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize http://tfl.nu/jvbl

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I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.

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Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.

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(845): I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell. (845): Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts. http://tfl.nu/04jv

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Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.

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(845): Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science. http://tfl.nu/ee2g

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Last Night in New York (845)

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