The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America