Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.