I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
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Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
two words...techno handjob
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.