the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila