Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Follow @tfln