Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke