It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.