Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.