I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.