It's chlamydia! Thank God!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.