just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.