He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding