Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?