Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
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i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.