Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.