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We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
love makes seman taste better
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
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