Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (937)

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  We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve

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  (937): We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve http://tfl.nu/ierf
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  i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus

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  (937): i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus http://tfl.nu/ioq2
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  I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.

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  (937): I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/skfa
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  she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.

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  it's love

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  (937): she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat. (1-937): it's love http://tfl.nu/getj
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  i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot

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  (937): i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot http://tfl.nu/0845
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  love makes seman taste better

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  (937): love makes seman taste better http://tfl.nu/bxjy
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  I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.

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  Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!

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  (513): I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty. (937): Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet! http://tfl.nu/8hnt
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  they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend

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  (937): they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend http://tfl.nu/tkif
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  What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.

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  (937): What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease. http://tfl.nu/nyp8
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  I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.

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  (937): I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something. http://tfl.nu/k1os
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  I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay

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  (937): I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay http://tfl.nu/llvu
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  Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.

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  (937): Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls. http://tfl.nu/2r1d
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  Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.

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  He had some in his pocket. That was weird.

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  (937): Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon. (937): He had some in his pocket. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/q8lw
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  He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"

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  (937): He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night" http://tfl.nu/9y6d
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  was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?

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  (937): was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"? http://tfl.nu/gea9
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