pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest