if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.