he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
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This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.