Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?