I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
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HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.