Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.