So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning