masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.