It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.