I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.