How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
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Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
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you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.