i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic