how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.