I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.