She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.