then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
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I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.