I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
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More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.