How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game