Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.