I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.