Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (419)

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  The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.

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  (419): The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday. http://tfl.nu/0i2s
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  I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes

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  (419): I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes http://tfl.nu/4b4j
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  somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...

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  (419): somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky... http://tfl.nu/anut
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  Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.

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  (419): Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often. http://tfl.nu/82c7
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  Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?

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  (419): Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie? http://tfl.nu/tj9i
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  i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself

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  (419): i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself http://tfl.nu/tgru
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  It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth

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  (419): It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth http://tfl.nu/totm
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  i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home

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  move.

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  (513): i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home (419): move. http://tfl.nu/91am
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  Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside

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  (419): Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside http://tfl.nu/uown
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  he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis

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  (419): he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis http://tfl.nu/e9da
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  Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away

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  (419): Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away http://tfl.nu/g1qo
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  How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?

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  (419): How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles? http://tfl.nu/1dpq
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  Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.

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  (419): Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name. http://tfl.nu/pkap
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  You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....

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  (419): You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean..... http://tfl.nu/ti18
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  doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.

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  (419): doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars. http://tfl.nu/h8m5
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