you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.