He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
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All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me