The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
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Why is your signature on my underwear?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
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I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome