On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.