Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week