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I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
this boner is exhausting
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i will never coherently bang her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
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